From Death to Life!

I graduated with my Masters in Counseling and Psychology the year I turned 75.  I opened, with a friend, a small office and began practicing. I was excited and tired but it all worked. I was living a dream I had from the time I was a teenager.

My daughter Leslie and her husband Andy decided to go to New York because Christmas time is so beautiful, they asked Harold and me to go with them.

Christmas time in New York is like being in a fantasy world. Twinkling lights, music every where, Christmas trees as far up as you can see. It’s magical.

Harold and I were shopping on 5th Avenue, my favorite place to shop. We were walking back to our hotel and all of a sudden I could not breath. I had to sit down on a curb and waited until I could start a normal breathing. We went back to the hotel. We rested and then went to meet Andy and Leslie at the elevator. We began walking and all of a sudden I could not breath. It took a few minutes, I got better and went about our business of having fun.

We got back home and the next morning, Harold had a Doctor appointment. They told him he had Prostate cancer, and all of a sudden I could not breath. I went upstairs to my doctor and he sent me right to a heart surgeon.  The heart doctor said I had a value that needed to be replaced and that meant open heart surgery.

For about a year I checked other surgeons, went to heart failure clinic’s but I kept getting sicker. Finally I decided to have the surgery.

I had the surgery. It took about a year of medicine, treatments, shocking my heart back into rhythm before I’d had enough. My legs and stomach were so swollen they oozed fluid and hurt terribly. I talked to my family and my Doctor and said that’s enough, I was worn out. I wanted to go home and die. I went home, my children called Hospice, I planned my funeral.

My Hospice Doctor said to me after she did a physical, I want you to stop all of your medication except certain ones and she said I want you to sleep as long as possible and left my home.

I did as she said. I slept for almost 5 days. I woke up only to go to the bathroom and take a small bite of food. After those 5 days, I woke up and ate a little food, stayed up and talked with my family and then slept.

I do not understand what happen, but today I stay up except for a short nap in the afternoon and I am very ready by 7 to go into my bed read or watch T.V.  It’s not perfect but I feel “almost” like a human being.

I know this sounds strange, it does to me also, but it does get you to thinking about a higher power, or the belief in the human spirt we all have. Am I living for another thing that has to be done? I don’t know, but I am here, with my dear family and a bunch of Angels that are all around me cooing like Doves.

 

 

 

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President Barack Obama

I am not sure you will ever see my post but I hope someone will see this and you, your wife and children can read what I have to say.

I don’t think I have ever been more proud  of a President and his family! You have been a gentle man no matter what has been thrown at you and your family. All of you stood strong no matter what the circumstances were. You cared enough about people,to fight for “healthcare” that really has worked. I believe with a few little changes it will be exactly what we need! Unemployment is down, deficits are down,the G.D.P. is growing.  Congratulations.

The only fear I and many others have is your feeling for Israel!  It’s the only home that the Jewish people have where they, I hope, will someday have a place that they don’t have to worry about houses of worship or Jewish Community Centers being blown up or swasticka on the windows of our homes and Synogogues. Please think about this!

In a year that is filled with hatred, and disrespect to the President and his family and not caring about what the young people are learning about saying bad words, disrespect  toward different people that are not the same as they are, well it’s a shame! In  a very beautiful United States that always had their arms out to welcome people who needed to be free and realize dreams they had for themselves and their families, this was a place if they worked hard that those dreams could come true!

You are a beautiful example of what this country needs. Respect for others, standing tall for what you believe, and no matter what those other people have said or done, you have held onto what you knew was right. You have shown young children no matter the color of their skin, that they can be anything they want, if they work hard enough.

I am so proud to live in a time that I saw black man, a beautiful wife and two young women bring the love and respect back to what it always should be. You have given a huge gift to the world President Obama. It is the gift of respect and pride that you have brought back to the Presidency!

I am  sincerely yours,

Sue Miller


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SELF ESTEEM – AN INSIDE JOB!

Self Esteem-An Inside Job

by

Sue Miller

 What is self esteem? Look in the dictionary, there is nothing under self esteem. It’s defined under self respect or self conceit and it says, a proper respect for oneself as a human being, regard for one’s own standing or position.” 

Well my definition of self esteem is different. Self esteem: a very tiny voice in all of us that can make a day fabulous or terrible, it can make our relationship with our family and friends seem, in our eyes, wonderful or awful. It’s that voice we hear first thing in the morning as we look into the mirror. Oh my, what is that thing I see before me!  It says, “Today is not your day, deary or you go girl.” 

I’d like to express what I feel happens to that little voice in all of us as we begin the process of getting older. How powerful we allow that voice to become. 

I had a sticker on my car for years. It said, Happiness is an Inside Job. Translated, unless we are happy within ourselves we cannot depend on anyone else to make us happy—so easy—yet so hard to do.  

We talk about the physical and emotional changes created by hormones and the actual ageing process, but what we need to talk about are the outside factors which undermine our self esteem. 

We tire more easily and it harder to stand straight and our tummies begin to pooch out as we add a little more weight. We get to the end of an evening and our lipstick is almost to our nose and our makeup has found its way into those little lines. This can become the first step in our self esteem breakdown! 

You look at all the mail that arrives at your door, as well as what you receive from your computer for the “Senior Citizen.” It starts with one piece of mail a week and slowly thru the next years of your life it snowballs. You are sure Mrs. Senior Citizen lives here but you are not to sure about Mrs. Miller. 

We have all heard the story that one mother can take care of 6 children but 6 children cannot take care of one mother!! Well, I used to think that was just a great way to lay on a little more guilt; but if you think about it, it’s true. Your child as a parent is trying to juggle a job, husband or wife, children and a social life. What happened to that fun time you had just a few years ago or the long serious talks. The loneliness for that “girls day” or that call from your son “because he had time?” That’s another breakdown in self esteem. 

The icing on the cake!! Grandchildren! Many women confide, “I am thrilled to have a grandchild, but I don’t think I am ready.” We feel 20 but how can that be?  

You wake up one Sunday morning and there is this exciting article in your newspaper or computer. Title: Those Fabulous 50 Year Old Women: one starts a business, one is designing clothes and it goes on and on (effect of media on ageing.)

  There are probably lots more that you can all think of. I’ve just touched on some of the big ones I have either experienced or heard about. But even though these are pretty normal happening it doesn’t mean we have to sit back and let it eat away at our self esteem. No Ma’am, we can fight back! It’s easy to sit back and feel sorry for ourselves. It’s much harder to do something about it. But that is what we are going to do, beginning right now!! 

Physically: learn to hold your tummy in very tight and you won’t be able to have bad posture. Your make-up can be beautiful. You have to learn the easy little tricks like powder on your lips so the lipstick won’t run. You learn to have a different fashion look. A skirt or slacks with a great looking OVER blouse and jacket can work miracles.  

If you want to be around those children of yours, then you make a point to get yourself right smack in the middle. Kids, I am making dinner, put on your jeans and come over, or take them out.  Become part of their lives. Put yourself in the mainstream of life. If it means a lot to you to try and start a business, don’t be afraid. There is nothing you can’t do if it really is important. Even if you fail, at least you tried and that little voice will also know you tried. Besides, your husband or wife can always take the loss off their taxes!

 There are a lot of advantages to being a senior citizen, if you choose to look at it as a positive rather than a negative. Seven dollars for a movie rather than ten dollars isn’t all bad.

 You see, it really doesn’t make a bit of difference how you look or what you do. You can look like Jane Fonda and be every bit as successful, but what good is it if you really don’t like yourself; if you don’t trust life; if you live with the fear of what is going to come. Everyday there is something new and wonderful to experience. Nothing is easy and you have to be willing to make changes. That’s what makes  life exciting even if you are eighty. 

I think the secret of holding on to your self-esteem as we age is to overcome your doubts and fears. You may not be able to jump in as quickly as you did when you were twenty, but going slow and savoring those positive steps is really much nicer.

 Twenty years ago, I walked into my plastic surgeon’s office. As usual there was a wait. I sat next to a woman I know had to be in her 80s.   I just could not figure out why she was there, so finally I asked her;  this was her reply. “I have a boyfriend and we are going to get married. I had a mastectomy ten years ago and now I am going to have reconstructive surgery.” She was 83.

 We can believe all those articles about staying young, dyeing our hair, opting for face lifts, body tucks and all the outward tricks to appear youthful. But no matter what you do to your self outwardly, if the powerful little voice deep inside us isn’t young, it’s not going to make a lot of difference. HAPPYINESS AND SELF ESTEEM ARE TRULY “AN INSIDE JOB.”

 

 

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